jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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