Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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