do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i think my mom watched the whole time
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
