Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
