Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize