it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
