i jhust puked up my retainher.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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