it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
