literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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