Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
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Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Everclear isn't food dammit
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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