She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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