It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
