Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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