Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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