That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
