Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
