she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
