She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize