And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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