Pappa wants mamma naked
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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