please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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