my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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