We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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