I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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