haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
kristin has been a bad kristin
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
