Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
