garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
