I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
