weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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