he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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