is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
