I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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