I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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