I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
