did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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