We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
