If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
