i don't like sucking hair
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
