Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
