Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
