she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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