you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
