Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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