Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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