did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
