dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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