Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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