i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize