Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I have tasted many bathrooms
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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