at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
