Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
