I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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