I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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