I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
